[CLUE-Talk] What? Yes! (A Must-Read :)

[Matt Gushee]

----- Forwarded message from Nguyen Vu Hung <vuhung at fedu.uec.ac.jp> -----

Date: Mon, 28 Oct 2002 04:30:29 +0900 (JST)
From: Nguyen Vu Hung <vuhung at fedu.uec.ac.jp>
To: tlug at tlug.jp
Subject: Re: [tlug] [off-topic] Unix Consultant
Reply-To: tlug at tlug.jp

thanks Mauro,

already fw this to vieltug mailing list.

btw, if anyone get stuck , try

#cd /pub; more beer 

;)

vu hung

On Fri, 18 Oct 2002, Mauro Sauco
wrote:

> I'm sorry if you already know it !.
> 
> //mauro//
> 
> ==================================================================
> 
> Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question:
> 
> Customer: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a
> program ?
> 
> UNIX consul: Yes, that's correct.
> 
> Customer: No, what is it ?
> 
> UNIX consul: Yes.
> 
> Customer: So, which is the one ?
> 
> UNIX consul: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
> 
> Customer: Stop this. Who are you ?
> 
> UNIX consul: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo'
> to get information about yoo.
> 
> Customer: All I want to know is what finds the revision code ?
> 
> UNIX consul: Use 'what'.
> 
> Customer: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?
> 
> UNIX consul: No. 'true' gives you 0.
> 
> Customer: Which one?
> 
> UNIX consul: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
> 
> Customer: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
> 
> UNIX consul: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what
> program' to get the revision code.
> 
> Customer: I want to find the revision code.
> 
> UNIX consul: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.
> 
> Customer: Which command will do what I need?
> 
> UNIX consul: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
> 
> Customer: I think I understand. Let me write that.
> 
> UNIX consul: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your
> system.
> 
> Customer: Write what?
> 
> UNIX consul: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
> 
> Customer: Cut that out!
> 
> UNIX consul: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the
> options.
> 
> Customer: Do you always do this?
> 
> UNIX consul: 'du' will give you disk usage.
> 
> Customer: HELP!
> 
> UNIX consul: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System.
> 
> Customer: You make me angry.
> 
> UNIX consul: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make programname'
> when
> I was upset once.
> 
> Customer: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
> 
> UNIX consul: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system
> has 'more'.
> 
> Customer: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
> 
> UNIX consul: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is
> better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is.
> Unless of course 'now' is a file name.
> 
> Customer: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
> 
> UNIX consul: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you to
> the Pascal compiler team...
> 
> 
> 
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> http://www.osdl.jp/
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> 

+----------------------------------------------------------+
|            Nguyen Vu Hung( vuhung at kde.org )              |
| The University of Electro-Communications, Tokyo, Japan   |
+----------------------------------------------------------+
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| Tokyo Linux Users Group http://www.tlug.gr.jp/           |
+----------------------------------------------------------+



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----- End forwarded message -----

-- 
Matt Gushee                 When a nation follows the Way,
Englewood, Colorado, USA    Horses bear manure through
mgushee at havenrock.com           its fields;
http://www.havenrock.com/   When a nation ignores the Way,
                            Horses bear soldiers through
                                its streets.
                                
                            --Lao Tzu (Peter Merel, trans.)