[CLUE-Talk] More SCO

[Dennis J Perkins]

Think McBride will sue over this?

> Ok, so this may be bad to do.
> 
> Read and have a laugh
> 
> Jef
> 
> Parody: Modern SCO Executive
> 
> From: 	 	Rick Moen <rick at linuxmafia.com>
> To: 	 	linux-elitists at zgp.org
> Subject: 	 	[linux-elitists] Modern SCO Executive
> Date: 	 	Tue, 3 Jun 2003 23:38:34 -0700
> 
> Archived copy will be at
> http://twiki.iwethey.org/twiki/bin/view/Main/PiratesOfPenguinance
> 
> 
>   	           Modern SCO Executive
>     (Apologies to Gilbert, Sullivan, and most of humanity)
>       (Send brickbats to:  Rick Moen and Karsten Self)
> 
> [The scene:  Major-General Darl McBride has stepped up to the fo'castle
> of HMS SCaldera, which has just fought its first skirmish against the
> dread Pirates of Penguinance.  He prepares to hold a press
> conference^W^W^W^W
> address the troops:]
> 
> 
> McBride:
> 
>   I am the very model of a modern SCO executive.
>   Our market share is minuscule; our losses are consecutive.
>   But from our labs deep in U-T, you very soon will surely see
>   The ultimate, the pinnacle, in high-technolo-barratry.
>   "Live free or die" philosophies are very well, but still, you see:
>   Our contracts and our trade secrets make Unix seem our property.
>   Never mind what we really own (a question not rhetorical):
>   We have thirty thousand contracts, though most are quite historical.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   We have thirty thousand contracts, though most are quite historical.
>   We have thirty thousand contracts, though most are quite historical.
>   We have thirty thousand contracts, though most are quite historical.
> 
> 
> McBride:
> 
>   While our profit's been elusive, our tort claims are unremitting,
>   And Blake Stowell's PR quota is still dozens at each sitting.
>   In short, in matters litigual, continual, accusative,
>   I am the very model of a modern SCO executive.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   In short, in matters litigual, continual, accusative,
>   He is the very model of a modern SCO executive.
> 
> 
> McBride:
> 
>   Our history's mythological (per Eric, it's not factual).
>   I answer simple questions with evasions indeciph'rable.
>   I'm quoted in the IT press, first one and then another way,
>   And if that's not quite sufficient, then Sontag runs some blocking
> play.
>   I'm not so good with copyrights, Novell's got those (they say to us),
>   Our patent holding's very slim, our valuation's perilous.
>   But please don't ever hit me with our POSIX system standard score.
>   I'm always quite confused by that infernal nonsense System 4.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   He's always quite confused by that infernal nonsense System 4.
>   He's always quite confused by that infernal nonsense System 4.
>   He's always quite confused by that infernal nonsense System 4.
> 
> 
> McBride:
> 
>   That freaky hippie GPL, you'd think we'd never heard of it!
>   And all that code we say they took?  The Stevens book's got every bit.
>   In short, with markets minimal and losses quite consecutive,
>   I am the very model of a modern SCO executive.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   In short with markets minimal and losses quite consecutive,
>   He is the very model of a modern SCO executive!
> 
> 
> McBride:
> 
>   Our name is "SCO" (although we really still are Caldera):
>   Our Eighties business plan seemed good; why permit a change of era?
>   That old IP that passed to us seemed ripe for legal mining.
>   We're not quite clear on what it is, but it must have been worth
> buying.
>   I look with great anxiety on Linux and on BSD.
>   I've signed up with the Devil:  Chairman Bill sent a huge license fee.
>   He says he has a high regard for intellectual property,
>   But I really haven't thought much what he'll do when he's done with
> me.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   But he really hasn't thought much what he'll do when he's done with
> him.
>   But he really hasn't thought much what he'll do when he's done with
> him.
>   But he really hasn't thought much what he'll do when he's done with
> him.
> 
> 
> McBride:
> 
>   Our contract reach is deep and broad, and gives us exclusivity:
>   The lawyers tell us to shoot wide.  (Who'll notice things like
> privity?) 
>   From the penguinista rabble, I've earned naught but opprobrium.
>   But dare I'll say I'm twice the man of anyone at I-B-M.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   But dare'e'll say he's twice the man of anyone at I-B-M.
>   But dare'e'll say he's twice the man of anyone at I-B-M.
>   But dare'e'll say he's twice the man of anyone at I-B-IBM.
> 
> 
> McBride: 
> 
>   So though we have run quite amok, we readily will go away,
>   If for our worthless capital, you were this tidy sum to pay.
>   In short, with markets minuscule and losses quite consecutive,
>   I am the very model of a modern SCO executive.
> 
> Lawyer Chorus:
> 
>   In short, with markets minuscule and losses quite consecutive,
>   I am the very model of a modern SCO executive.
> 
> 
> -- 
> Cheers,               I have /usr/sbin/coffee mounted from /dev/mug
> right now, 
> Rick Moen             and you can't have it.  Oh no, I just tried to
> seek past 
> rick at linuxmafia.com   end-of-beverage. *sigh*  -- Graham Reed, in the
> Monastery
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