[clue-talk] Fwd: <OT> MicroSoft and Robots ...

[Collins Richey]

Couldn't resist cross posting this little bit of hilarity.

Enjoy.



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ben Duncan <bns at meta3.net>
Date: Jun 20, 2006 9:56 AM
Subject: <OT> MicroSoft and Robots ...
To: Linux tips and tricks <linux-users at linux-sxs.org>


I have just read that MicroSoft is purported to be going into
the robot development business (No Joke on that) ...

Here's My Take on this:


MicroSoft will develop robots with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason at all, your robot would shut down twice a day.

2. Every time you repainted the walls in your house, or installed new
plumbing or
    installed new carpet, you would have to call Microsoft to get a new
    activation number for your robot.

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a turning a corner would
cause your
    robot to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to
reinstall the motor.

4. When your robot shuts down for no reason, you would just accept this, restart
    and continue on.

5. The robot could only obey one person at a time  unless you bought
'Robot Server',
     and then added more user license.

6. Apple would make a robot powered by the sun, reliable, five times
as fast, and
    twice as easy to use , but would work in only five per cent of the
households.

7. battery, hydraulics and system warning lights would be replaced by a single
    'general error default' warning light.

8. New models would force everyone to have the same size rooms.

9. When given a command , the robot would say 'Are you sure?' before doing it.

10. Occasionally, for no reason, your robot would lock out your
commands  out and
     refuse to let you command it, until you simultaneously lifted
it's leg, turned
     it's head, and kissed it's ass.

11. MS would require all robot buyers to also purchase a deluxe subscription to
     MicroSoft LIVE , even though they neither need it nor want it.
     Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the robot's
performance to diminish
     by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, MS would become a target for
investigation
     by the Justice Department.

12. Every time MS introduced a new model, buyers would have to learn
how to command
     it all over again because none of the commands would the same as
in the old robot.

13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the robot.

--
Ben Duncan   - Business Network Solutions, Inc. 336 Elton Road
Jackson MS, 39212
"Never attribute to malice, that which can be adequately explained by stupidity"
        - Hanlon's Razor

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-- 
Collins Richey
     If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries
     of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.