[clue-talk] the recent "green" fads - or "Stupid Green"

[Nate Duehr]

Taken out to the n-th degree (pun intended, since this relates to 
server/datacenter cooling), with energy use on everyone's minds right 
now -- even with gasoline just MATCHING the price of fancy bottled 
WATER, not even above it yet... on a per gallon basis...

(Think about that one for a minute...)

Sitting at a computer reading e-mail or surfing for "fun" could easily 
be frowned upon as a frivolous waste of electrons, someday.

You just never know...

But I had to share some "green" stuff I've seen at my company and 
elsewhere that makes little sense.

I laughed out loud when my company DEMANDED that all employees add this 
to our e-mail signatures:

"Please consider your social responsibility when printing this e-mail."

Yep... it's really on there.  (Well, I resisted and didn't add it. 
Probably means I'll never get a promotion again.  Ha!  Damn cults.)  And 
we really send that crap to customers.

Even scarier, there's a cult here of workers who live in the Boulder 
area (not kidding) who've really bought into this thing.  They get upset 
at people and have social issues with people who haven't put it on their 
e-mail signatures yet.  Seriously!

First off... I haven't heard a printer printing anything all day, and 
didn't before either.  So spamming ourselves with this phrase is doing 
what, exactly?  And spamming customers with it?!

I edited it and sent it back to a few trusted co-workers and a boss 
who's cool about such things:

"Please consider your social responsibility when using your computer and 
burning tons of coal a day to keep our data center running and cool at 
the same time.  Microsoft Exchange requires far more resources than a 
phone call."

Other fun Dilbert-esque "green" policies include:

No official work from home policy, but banning the purchase of plastic 
water bottles.

(I burn more in petroleum driving one way to work than all of the 
bottles this facility went through in a year used, and all of those were 
RECYCLED!)

Company picnics and parties 40+ miles from the office area.

(If I lived near the office, I'd care more... but I live 27 miles away 
anyway.  I did suggest that I might be thrown in the gulag if I show up 
at the company party in our family Suburban though -- someone might 
lynch me.)

Company required training sessions 30+ miles away at the other company 
offices, when we are a MANUFACTURER of videoconferencing equipment.

(Shouldn't using that equipment be MANDATORY, as in "eat your own dog 
food?"...)

Tons of people driving Priuses (Prii? - GRIN)... don't get me started on 
that.

Sigh... it's all so silly, bordering on truly retarded.  So many "green" 
initiatives just move the energy use problem around, they don't 
eliminate the actual use.

(How much power does it take to CREATE a solar panel?  Will it make all 
of that back PLUS MORE in its lifetime?)

"Green" is the new "Dot Com" marketing fad, but it's being implemented 
by idiots, without any real regard for where the biggest impact would be 
seen.  Or more likely, it's implemented only as a way to sell things, 
not out of true desire to change things.  Only to "appear concerned".

If you were to put in an IP phone system at a co-lo and a few virtual 
desktops for customer VPN access, and half of this building could sit 
empty or even be let go -- saving a lot of money and requiring one less 
building to be heated and cooled.  Additionally, everyone's use of 
energy to transport themselves to and from a separate building for work 
every day, would be eliminated.

No need for the majority of the staff to be here physically, at all... 
and all of the work could still get done.

Have a small space in an office building for the sales and/or whoever 
needs face to face meetings, and lab space for things just too 
big/expensive to take home with you to test with.

Add another small work area for anyone too irresponsible to handle 
working from home, or anyone who demands to come into the "office" 
because they need to get out of their houses for whatever reason, you're 
still doing 10x more to save the environment than stopping buying water 
bottles, and having a new e-mail signature line about printing.

Maybe we need a new phrase:  Like the cleaning product -- "Simple 
Green"... let's just call this "Stupid Green".

Share your "Stupid Green" stories, if you dare... I'm curious how many 
other lovely misguided corporations are implementing "green" things that 
make no sense at all.

Nate