[clue] A UDP packet walks into the bar. The bartender doesn't even acknowledge him.

[Grant Johnson]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Einstein: the question is "did the chicken cross the road, or did the road pass under the chicken?"

Edgar Allen Poe: To die. In the rain.

Chris Ernst <penguin-guy at comcast.net> wrote:

>HA!  A friend just sent me a whole batch:
>
>1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any
>luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
>
>2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”
>
>3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time
>doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
>
>4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d
>like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,”
>replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”
>
>5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him
>over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at
>130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”
>
>6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up
>and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”
>
>7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.
>
>8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary,
>and those that don’t.
>
>9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
>
>10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.”
>A tachyon enters a bar.
>
>11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one
>with everything”.
>
>12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.
>
>13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking
>down
>the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there
>are
>so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler
>goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men
>answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”
>
>14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
>
>15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None,
>it’s
>a hardware problem.
>
>16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting
>next to him. Excited, he asks:  “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop
>at this train?”
>
>17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a
>technicality.
>
>18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar.
>Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke,
>but
>how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t
>know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s
>funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”
>
>19. A Roman walks into a bar,  holds up two fingers, and says:  “Five
>beers, please.”
>
>20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K
>now.
>
>21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender
>says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one
>half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a
>beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The
>fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender
>interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.
>
>22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit
>B
>Mandelbrot.
>
>23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of
>Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of
>coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry,
>Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
>
>24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended.
>The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”
>
>25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf
>of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home
>with 12 loaves of bread.
>
>Source:
>http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-many-surrealists-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb-a-fish-the-most-highbrow-jokes-in-the-world-8691191.html
>
>Cheers!
>
>	- Chris
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-- 
Sent from my Android phone with K-9 Mail. Please excuse my brevity.
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